The One With All The Kissing: Monica and Chandler try to keep their relationship hidden: When Joey comes into the bathroom, Monica has to duck under the bubbles in the tub; Chandler accidentally kisses Monica good-bye in from of the others, so then has to kiss all the girls. Phoebe is irked by all the fun she missed in London; the others decide to take her on a picnic to Central Park, but since that idea sucks they plan a weekend in Atlantic City; just as they’re leaving, her water breaks. Rachel, back from Greece and angry about the bad choices she’s made recently, gives decision making control of her love-life to Monica. This arrangement is strained to the breaking point when Rachel wants to tell Ross she still loves him, but Monica won’t let her. Ross plans to win back Emily by sending romantic gifts.

The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS: Rachel catches Monica waiting seductively in her bedroom for Chandler; to cover, Monica tells Rachel she’s seeing a guy from work. Monica tells Rachel that her new boyfriend is the best sex she’s ever had, and when Chandler hears this he gets a little too proud of himself. Ross finally gets Emily on the phone and they begin planning to work things out; Emily agrees to come to New York but only if Ross doesn’t see Rachel anymore. After much agonizing, Ross agrees. Joey gets involved with a PBS pledge drive, believing he’s the host; but he’s only a phone jockey and not even on camera. Phoebe reveals her hatred for PBS, which started because she never got an answer to a letter she wrote to Sesame Street after her mom died. Joey and Phoebe argue about whether any truly selfless good deeds exist, so Phoebe tries repeatedly to find one.

The One With Ross’s Sandwich: Joey lets himself look bad in order to explain away various discoveries that could expose Monica’s and Chandler’s relationship: underwear in Monica’s sofa; a lady’s razor in his shower; candlelight and videotape; a nude polaroid. He threatens to tell everyone the truth unless Chandler and Monica can come up with a story that makes him look good. They don’t come through, so Joey creates a new lie: he slept with Monica in London and she’s been after him ever since. Phoebe takes a literature class; Rachel decides to come with her, but doesn’t bother to read the books. After Rachel steals her ideas in the first class, Phoebe feeds Rachel misinformation about the second book. Ross has a problem with rage after someone at work steals his Thanksgiving-leftovers sandwich. After scaring his co-workers, yelling at his boss, and getting upset at a psychiatrist, he gets put on tranquilizers.

The One With Chandler’s Work Laugh: Rachel tries to learn more about Chandler and Monica’s relationship; when Rachel confronts her, Monica makes up some pretty lame lies to cover it up. Ross finds out Emily is engaged to be married again; he goes out on the town and somehow hooks up with Janice. Their relationship starts out great, but soon Janice can’t stand Ross’s constant whining and she breaks it off. Chandler takes Monica to a work party, as well as some outings with Chandler’s boss and his wife; Monica learns that ‘Work Chandler’ is a suck-up with an exaggerated laugh. Phoebe and Joey race birds.

The One With Joey’s Bag: Chandler finds out Monica gives terrible massages but doesn’t want to tell her. When the truth comes out, Monica has a hard time accepting it. Joey is auditioning for a sophisticated part in a play, so Rachel offers to help him look the part. She outfits him at Bloomingdales, and part of the ensemble is a “man’s bag,” which bears a striking resemblence to a purse. Unfortunately, Joey’s devotion to the bag ends up costing him the audition. Phoebe’s grandmother dies; Ursula, who thought grandma was already dead, skips the memorial. The memorial does have one unexpected guest, however–Phoebe’s father. Without revealing her true identify, she arranges to meet with him later, at which time she reveals the truth… but things are still a little awkward.

The One Where Rachel Smokes: Ben auditions for a soup commercial and Joey comes along to try for a part as well. Things are going great until Joey gets paired with another child and it gets competitive. Joey has a little trouble with his line, however. Rachel starts her new job at Ralph Lauren; she soon feels left out because all the decisions get made on smoking breaks, and she doesn’t smoke. She tries to solve the problem by taking up the habit; it doesn’t work out too well, so she convinces her co-workers to quit… but that lasts about a day. Phoebe and Monica plan a surprise birthday party for Rachel. Monica, in her usual fashion, takes over completely, leaving Phoebe in charge of only cups and ice. Phoebe decides to make the most of it; she makes everything imaginable out of cups, and serves every kind of ice.

The One With The Ride-Along: Ross, Joey, and Chandler go on a ride-along with Gary; thinking a car back-fire is actually a gunshot, Joey dives and protects Ross from harm. Chandler is upset that Joey chose to protect Ross… until he learns that Joey was really trying to protect his sandwich. While getting Margarita fixings as Ross’ apartment, Rachel overhears Emily–who is getting married the next day–leaving a message, wondering if their break-up was a mistake. Monica and Rachel debate about what to do, and Rachel accidentally erases the message. She stays and waits for Ross to return so she can tell him.

The One In Vegas, Part 2: Ross and Rachel arrive at the casino, where Rachel quickly learns she is “a human doodle”. The ink won’t come off, so she and Ross spend the day hiding in the hotel room, raiding the mini-bar. Once they’re completely drunk, Rachel finally agrees to go back down to the casino–after she draws on Ross’ face. Phoebe, playing the slots, is plagued by a lurker: An elderly woman who follows her around, waiting for her to give up a machine that hasn’t paid out, then takes over and hits the jackpot (a strategy with absolutely no basis in the laws of probability). She decides to out-lurk the lurker; but during a confrontation with her, Phoebe gets thrown out of the casino. Joey tries to persuade his identical hand twin that they should go into show business. He becomes such a nuisance that he gets thrown out, too. Chandler makes a scene to get Monica’s attention. They make up, and Monica continues her winning streak playing craps. Chandler says if she rolls another hard eight, they’ll get married. The dice bounce off the table and the roll is disqualified; one die shows a four, the other is on it’s edge between four and five. Chander decides it’s a four. They arrive at the wedding chapel and are waiting for the previous service to end, when the chapel doors fly open and out walk the drunken Ross and Rachel, newly married.

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